80 Movies

Ahh, the 70's (and early 80's)...

2010-01-17T13:55:00.000-08:00

A Christmas Without Snow (1980) A
What has become my favorite yearly holiday fare is this lovely tale of newly-divorced teacher & mom Michael Learned (aka Olivia Walton) joining her church choir in San Francisco as they learn Handel's Messiah. The conductor is played by regal old coot John Houseman and co-stars include James Cromwell as the preacher, Valerie Curtin as a busybody spinster, Beah Richards as a wise grandma, and Ramon Bieri as a goofy would-be suitor for Learned. The music is great btw, and features a real SF soprano soloing beautifully on I Know Why My Lord Redeemeth.

Maybe I'll Come Home In The Spring (1972) B-
Sally Field stars as dazed and confused hippie chick mysteriously attracted to grubby, thieving sleazeball David Carradine. She returns home to her sane suburban family home, despite the same kind of smothering aggro that drove her away in the first place. Linda Ronstadt croons the title song and there's some cute animation in daydream sequence. Good little flick, not great, but it means well. Jackie Cooper and Eleanor Parker do well as her terminally-uptight parents, reminding me of Jack Lemmon and his spouse in Save The Tiger.

Get Christie Love! (1974) B-
Dated cop drama pilot with novelty of first black woman
detective on TV in the title role. Denise Graves shone
brightly, briefly (the subsequent series only ran one season)
as the sassy young Love opposite semi-grizzled vet Harry
Guardino as her boss and Lousie Sorel as their tough gun
moll prey,

A Real American Hero (1978) B+
Brian Dennehey is well-cast as Southern lawman Buford
Pusser up against a surprisingly slimy Ken Howard as an
unscrupulous bar owner who sells poison moonshine to his
young customers. Pusser proceeds to whack his way to
justice, invoking a series of archaic town laws; a side story
involves holy-rolling women using the same rules to defame
an ex-hooker (Sheree North) trying to rebuild her life after a
stint in prison for killing her abusive pimp.

Evel Knevel (1972) C+
Purported biopic of famed stunt motorcyclist starring George
Hamilton. He's amiable and the action scenes are
entertaining but it's strictly drive-in material.

Stunts (1978) B
Slow-moving but interesting look at the movie stunt-worker's
community with the twist of a series of unexplained murders
of these brave guys. A bored-looking Robert Forster stars
alongside Bruce Glover and Joanna Cassidy as fellow
stuntpeople, and Fiona Lewis as a sultry journalist writing an
article about the business. Print is rated PG for violence and
a little profanity. Cassidy's drunken bar scene is a highlight.

Murder Once Removed (1971) B+
John Forsythe plays a small city doctor obsessively in love
with married socialite Barbara Bain. She encourages him to
murder her wealthy husband (Richard Kiley) but Kiley turns
the tables on Forsythe by telling him he knows what he's up
to. Enter sad, heroin-addicted patsy patient (and Vietnam
vet) Wendell Burton and wickedness ensues, with an
unexpected ending. Disney staple Reta Shaw is amusing as
Forsythe's bossy nurse.

The Strangers In 7A (1971) B
Michael Brandon, James A Watson, and Tim McIntire play
desperate Viet vets intent on robbing a NYC bank by
blackmailing wimpy landlord Andy Griffith (via a femme fatale)
into giving them a hideout. Ida Lupino plays Andy's tough-gal
wife, who gives as good as she gets to snotty punk Brandon.
Harkens back a bit to Lupino's days in film noir, both in front
of and behind the camera. A pity she didn't direct it.

Panic In Echo Park (1977) B -
Dorian Harewood plays an ambitious young doctor sick of the
rules at the inner-city Los Angeles hospital in which he works.
The panic involves tainted water poisoning an apartment
complex full of ethnic stereotypes, and it's never quite
explained why he's dating a rich white Jewish gal with whom
he has zero chemistry. Tamu -- the funky young black actress
who never quite made it in H-wood -- is one of the few fresh
characters in this do-gooder mishmash, as a budding video
journalist.

James Dean (1976) A-
Well-made biopic of the 50's movie icon (Stephen McHattie at
his prettiest) who died way too young, while lesser talents like
Dennis Hopper continue to draw paychecks. Michael
Brandon plays his nerdish, adoring roomie William Bast, on
whose biography the film is based. There's a definite
homoerotic element here but beyond a scene where Dean
wants to method act out a man-to-man love scene with Bast,
it's pretty tame. Meg Foster is good in all too brief supporting
scenes as Dean's NYC girlfriend.

They Call It Murder (1971) B+
Jim Hutton stars as an ardent California district attorney
investigating the murder of a man at a wealthy family's
beachside compound owned by widow Jessica Walter and
her paralyzed father-in-law Leslie Nielsen (doing a rather silly
Irish accent). Ed Asner provides comic relief as a bumbling
chief of police. Story is based on works by Ellery Queen
creator Erle Stanley Gardner; appropriately, one of Hutton's
last roles was in a remake of that TV detective series.

Firehouse (1972) C
Another dated race-relations melodrama, this time set in an
NYC firefighter's company. Richard Roundtree is wasted as the smart
new kid on the block alongside bitter racist Vince Edwards,
whose best bud was killed in a fire set by a black gang-banger
arsonist. Eventually they learn to mutually respect one another, yadda yadda,
but the ending is rather abrupt and unsatisfying.

Moon of the Wolf (1971) D+
Idiotic werewolf drama somwhat elevated by location shooting
(set in a small Louisiana town) and good cast of sheriff David
Janssen, and rich siblings Barbara Rush and Bradford Dilman.
Possibly the least-gory horror flick of its year.

Children of the Night (1985) D-
Badly done message picture / biopic stars an unconvincing
Kathleen Quinlan as budding social worker Lois Lee who
strives to get teen girl hookers off the streets. Not one of the
girls is a good enough actress to make me care about them,
unlike, say, Jill Clayburgh in the superior Hustling. Annoying
theme song by otherwise fav Pat Benatar does not help.

That's 63 down, seventeen to go!

7 More Hits and Misses

2009-11-01T17:38:00.000-08:00

Katherine (1975)
Sissy Spacek
Henry Winkler
Art Carney
Julie Kavner

Period piece based on real girl (not Patty Hearst) who foolishly got mixed up with
domestic terrorists in the early 1970's is made watchable by first-rate cast headed
by Spacek as title heroine. Carney's her loving dad, Winkler her half-assed bf,
Kavner her domestic goddess-to-be best gal pal. Jane Wyatt plays her socialite
mom. You'll want to rent this out with the Hearst biopic starring the late Miranda
Richardson to compare notes, as well as 1977's Julia, featuring Miranda's mom
Vanessa Redgrave as a similar rich-girl-turned-underground fighter.

The Pride of Jesse Hallam (1981)
Johnny Cash
Brenda Vaccarro

Very likable and still-topical tale of an illiterate middle-aged man's struggle to find
a better job while learning how to read and write. Cash is widower with a
track-star son in high school and a little girl with scoliosis he needs to support.
Along comes school registrar Vaccarro to the rescue! Added treat is Cash
singing a couple of songs on the soundtrack.

Coach of the Year (1980)
Robert Conrad.... Jim Brandon
David Raynr ... Sweetlife (as David Hubbard)
Ricky Paull Goldin ... Andy DeFalco (as Ricky Paul)
Alex Paez ...Hector Estrada

Conrad plays a paraplegic Vietnam vet cum Chicago Bull who receives nothing
but discrimination from Bulls management when he applies for a job with them.
Fortunately, his no-goodnik nephew (Goldin, currently popular in soap opera land) lands in the Kane Co. IL juvenile prison alongside fellow future TV series guest star Paez (here looking much like young Prez Obama), plus prettyboy black thug Raynr (now a director). Conrad becomes the athletic director for these punks and whips them into shape, culminating in an improbable football game versus snotty rich kids. Outside of a moving scene between him and a strung-out Paez, it's pretty average going for an inspirational film. I would have preferred seeing him sue the Bulls for their anti-handicapped stance.

(Frederick Forsyth's) Cry of the Innocent (1980)
Directed by Michael O'Herlihy
Rod Taylor ... Steve Donegin
Joanna Pettet ... Cynthia Donegin / Candia Leighton
Cyril Cusack ... Tom Moloney (detective)

Taylor (looking much older than 51 at the time) plays an insurance exec living in
Ireland with a young family headed by Pettet in a brown wig. One afternoon
during an idyllic vacation, a commuter plane crashes into the cottage they've
rented, killing all on board and in the house, except Taylor. Bent on revenge, he
spends the rest of the picture trying to hunt down the suspects (there was a
bomb found on the plane, which was owned by a nasty multinational
conglomerate), despite the warnings of detective Cusack and aided by inquiring
reporter Pettet. Location filming helps buoy this convoluted tale.

Ballad of Andy Crocker (1969)
Lee Majors
Jimmy Dean
Joey Heatherton
Marvin Gaye

Currently billed as the first TV movie to deal with the plight of Vietnam veterans,
this was supposed to have been a pilot for a series starring the handsome young
Majors. You can sorta see why it didn't happen, though they meant well. Joey
plays his ex gf, now married to another & not as nice guy; Dean is his business
partner, who has let their bike shop slide into disrepair & debt. Gaye appears in
a couple of scenes as a fellow vet. This should have been better but, hey, it's a
Spelling & Thomas production (see below for further bad examples); dreadful score is another debit; couldn't they get Gaye, Heatherton, & Dean to sing?

All The Kind Strangers (1974)
Stacey Keach
Samantha Eggars
John Savage
Robby Benson

Still-creepy story about backwoods orphans who kidnap a random man and
woman (Keach and Eggars) to be their paw and maw after the originals die, she
in childbirth, he due to alcoholism because of it. Keeping the couple at bay: a
borderline sociopathic Savage with his trusty arsenal, and a pair of mean dogs.
Benson is as revolting as ever in his unctious over-acting style; he even croons
the horrid title tune done in sub-John Denver style.

Wake Me When the War's Over (1969)
Ken Berry
Eva Gabor
Werner Klemperer
Hans Conreid

I hate it when the flick that sounds the most fun turns out to be an abysmal
disappointment. This might have worked in a theatrical release where the hot sex
Berry was having with Gabor behind the perpetually locked doors of her mansion
could be seen and heard. But no, Spelling & Thomas insisted on making this as
G-rated as possible. The paper-thin, humor-free plot revolves around a US
airman being held virtual hostage by a horny widowed baroness during WWII
and five years after. Cue Klemperer as a variation on the clown he played on
Hogan's Heroes and Conreid as failed Nazi dreaming of a Fourth Reich to keep
Berry ignorant of the facts. He does manage to escape but insanely remains
stupid culminating in the only entertaining moment of the flick, a wacky car
chase.

More Flix, From Best to Worst

2009-10-18T20:54:00.000-07:00

Hustling (1975)
Lee Remick stars as an investigative reporter researching a story on prostitution in the Times Square area of New York City, aided by do-gooder policeman Alex Rocco and tough-talking hooker Jill Clayburgh. One of those landmark TV movies from the 70's that predicted grittier shows like Cagney & Lacey and Homicide: Life on the Street. Cast is excellent as is Fay Kanin's script and Joseph Sargent's direction. I like the way it includes upper-level corruption and the innate sadness of the johns. Burt Young is good in a supporting role as a sleazy but three-dimensional landlord, but I don't quite buy (so to speak) homely Melanie Mayron as a desirable tramp.
Penny Serenade (1941)
Least of the three films Cary Grant & Irene Dunne made together, this godmother of all future soap operas focuses on the deteriorating marriage of a struggling newspaperman and his barren wife, and how the highly unlikely addition of adopted children makes them whole again. Still, the star power of these two actors makes it a cut above the rest, supported ably by Edgar Buchanan as Grant's shy but wily pressman and uber-sympathetic Beulah Bondi as the adoption agency head.
Joyless Street (1926)
Greta Garbo's beauty is the main draw here in this heavily-edited tale of a greedy pensioner trying to raise two daughters in post-WWI Austria. The scuzzy print is sepia-toned and further marred by an indifferently tacked-on classical score -- the same one featured on several Hitchcock silents of the same era from the same source, Mill Creek.
Dark Mountain (1943)
Pretty good B-movie about beautiful Ellen Drew married to tough guy Regis Toomey; unbeknownst to her, he's a smuggler and a murderer soon on the lam with her in tow. Eventually they hole up in a small cabin inadvertantly provided by Drew's ex-boyfriend, a handsome forest ranger (Robert Lowery) and wait for a getaway. Eddie Quillan provides comic relief as Lowery's gotta-be-gay assistant.
Intimate Agony (1983)
Disease-of-the-week story set on a swank resort island run primarily by creepy Robert Vaughan. An assortment of beautiful people have contracted herpes via musical beds, including waitress Judith Light, tennis pro Mark Harmon, and dorky PR guy Brian Kerwin, not to mention Vaughan's cute daughter. Along comes crusading doc Anthony Geary to save the day, only Vaughan tries to cover it up so as not to turn the resort into a latter-day leper colony.
Betrayal (1974)
Tisha Sterling and Sam Groom play a couple of con-artists bilking rich old ladies out of their fortunes, she as a seemingly-loving companion, he as just another sadistic creep. Their newest mark is wealthy widow Amanda Blake, who hires Sterling to bring back some meaning to her life and subsequently charms the girl away from Groom's cruelty. That's character actress Lucille Benson as the previous victim.
The Big Show (1936)
Silly backstage country & western musical stars Gene Autry as likeable body-double to mustachioed & moronic leading man who runs away from his publicist just when he's needed to make a personal appearance in Texas. Best bits are the musical numbers and some cool Western stuntwork.
Blood and Sand (1922)
Rudolph Valentino reveals self to be a runty little toreador cum mama's boy torn between a sweet girl-next-door wife and a laughable seductress. Hard to believe that this guy was such a mega-star of the silent era, particularly in comparison to real he-men of the day like John Barrymore and Douglas Fairbanks, Sr.
Disappearance of Flight 412 (1975)
Mind-numbing tale of a group of Air Force pilots forced to retract their story of encountering UFOs by shady government outfit. Glenn Ford looks bored as their colonel and Kent Smith sleepwalks as the conflicted general in charge. Most ironic casting award goes to Ed Winter -- best known as eccentric CIA man on M*A*S*H -- as one of the interrogators.
Love Is Forever (1983)
I bet I'm not the first critic to answer 'no, it's not' to this turkey, shot on a $1.98 budget by D-movie maven Hall Bartlett. Michael Landon stars as an apparently real-life reporter who was held by Laotian authorities after trying to write an expose on their treatment of boat people. Video transfer is crummy, looking like half-assedly colorized b&w film. Leading lady Moira Chen competes with co-star Priscilla Presley as most wooden mannequin. It amazes me how a fairly popular leading man like Landon would appear in such poorly-made crap like this, despite the interesting story material.

Recent views, from best to worst:

2009-10-03T21:54:00.000-07:00

Death of Richie (1976)
One of those based-on-truth stories that still packs a punch, helped mightily by Ben Gazarra and Eileen Brennan as the anguished parents of drug-addicted son, Robby Benson. Richie, a wimpy Mick Jagger lookalike, hangs out with three older losers (you know they're scum because one of them is Opie's no-talent brother) who apparently spend all of their lives stoned on grass and barbs. Gradually, he becomes more and more violent, leading to his tragic end. Of course this is a bit of an exaggeration since most pot-heads are pretty docile, but I had no problem with Gazarra's tough-love approach
Road To Bali (1954)
Hope & Crosby's only color Road picture has the usual combination of wacky situations (two philandering vaudevillians on the lam in Australia) and romantic interludes for Bing and Dorothy Lamour, the latter a Balinese princess dealing with an abusive suitor.
Shell Game (1975)
Speaking of con-men, John Davidson is pretty good as a charming thief who does a good turn for charity in the person of Louise Latham, whose refugee organization has been swindled by a phony chair (Jack Kehoe). Joan Van Ark plays Davidson's likable assistant.
Dishonored Lady (1948)
Hedy Lamar plays a neurotic magazine art editor who gets mixed up with a debonair but ultimately creepy diamond merchant. She quits her job on the advice of her shrink, moves to Greenwich Village to concentrate on her fine arts career, and falls in love with an uptight scientist who lives in the same apartment house. Good supporting cast (Margaret Hamilton as her nosy landlady, William Lundigan as her social-climbing former co-worker) and Lamar's classic beauty make this watchable. Hoping TCM has a cleaner print than this version.
The Gun and the Pulpit (1974)
Knowing that the star of this flick was Marjoe Gortner (laughable in Earthquake) kept me from watching it for quite awhile, but I'm kind of glad I finally did. Gortner, plays a gunslinger in 1860's Arizona who reluctantly assumes the identity of a murdered preacher to escape a lynch mob -- the irony here of course is that Marjoe was a famous child evangelist in the 40's. What makes this comic western work is the A-list supporting cast of Estelle Parsons, Slim Pickens, and David Huddleston -- the latter two having had appeared in Blazing Saddles around that time. Huddleston plays the arrogant town boss who has had Parsons' do-gooder husband killed; look for Geoffrey Lewis as one of the boss' men who winds up in a showdown with Gortner.
Second Chorus (1941)
The only reasons for sitting through this picture are the presence of Fred Astaire in the lead and Artie Shaw as (duh) a cool bandleader. Fred dances twice, the first and best number with Paulette Goddard to the tune "Dig It". Shaw's orchestra cooks through another couple of songs. The story is irrelevant as long as you have fast-forward to mow through the stupid plot of aging college boys (Fred and Burgess Meredith) trying to stay in school to avoid actual work. A third old guy who is after Goddard is so completely unfunny, I was surprised to learn the amount of screen credits he had had before and after.

A Few More...

2009-09-07T17:00:00.000-07:00

Carter's Army (1970) [Black Brigade in box-set]
More of a curio than anything, this attempt by Aaron Spelling to rewrite WWII history to suit the then-modern black audience is an insult to the real black soldiers of the day. Snotty white captain from Georgia, Stephen Boyd, is given assignment to seize a dam in enemy territory with the catch that he use an all-black regiment. All but three (Robert Hooks, Moses Gunn, & Glynn Turman) of the soldiers are bums more intent on showing how cool they think they are than actually serving their country. Most laughable of the lot: Richard Pryor in a red beret as a cowardly smartass; I really would like to know what he was thinking when he made this. Rent this one out with 1995's The Tuskegee Airmen, starring Laurence Fishburne, Courtney Vance, & Andre Braugher for comparision.

Anatomy of An Illness (1984)
Another disease-of-the-week flick, this time based on journalist Norman Cousins' own near-fatal illness. Ed Asner is usual irascible self in the lead, Millie Perkins as his loving wife Ellen, and Eli Wallach as his loyal doctor. Since these pictures are virtually interchangeable, it depends on how much you like Mr Cousins and his offbeat (and ultimately successful) course of treatment.

Congratulations, It's A Boy! (1971)
This was pretty good, though also pretty dated. Aging swinger Bill Bixby learns that he has a teenaged son from a brief relationship with a girl he dated in military school. The boy (Darrell Larson) is sweet, moral, respectful of his elders -- in short, everything his dad is not. Bixby, who has a beautiful and perfectly nice lady-friend / secretary in Diane Baker, treats her like property; he works for his garment factory owning dad (Jack Albertson) and his mother (Ann Sothern) thinks he's gay because he's still not married at 37. It takes him awhile to get a clue but it's worth it. Trivia note: girl in opening scene is Judy Strangis, niece of big band comic Spike Jones and a regular on 70's sitcom, Room 222. Director William A. Graham has helmed several great TV shows including episodes of The Fugitive, The Naked City, and The X-Files.

Snowbeast (1977)
Cheap NBC TV movie based on the Bigfoot legend has meager thrills but a lot of nice skiing footage shot on location in Colorado. Bo Svenson and Yvette Mimieux star as power couple of sorts (ex-Olympian ski champ he, TV news reporter she) who visit lodge owned by Sylvia Sidney and her grandson Robert Logan, the latter an old flame of Mimieux's. Title creature proceeds to terrorize all at the most inconsiderate time, i.e., the 50th annual Snow Queen competition. Stupid in the extreme with so little gore it seems hardly worth the effort to watch. Like many of these box-set entries, would love to see this get the Mystery Science Theater treatment.

Tom Brown's School Days (1940)
Original version of this British chestnut stars prissy Cedric Hardwicke as no-nonsense headmaster at Rugby prep, with Freddie Bartholomew and Jimmy Lydon as his most victimized pupils by bullies at the school. Dead-End Kid Billy Halop plays the nastiest of the punks, but it's up to you whether you want to watch a whole film devoted to this constant meanness and the vagaries of honor. It's watchable as a period piece (set in early 19th Century Britain) but nowhere as good as latter-day Brit school flicks like The History Boys. Ironically, after his movie career cooled off, Halop wound up serving as a registered nurse in a Malibu, CA hospital.

Nine-Movie Marathon (From Best to Worst)

2009-09-06T16:40:00.000-07:00

I Cover The Waterfront (1933)
Interesting pre-Code story about a newspaperman (Ben Lyon) with the title column who seeks to uncover the deeds of a smuggler and swindler of Chinese nationals vying for a new life in America. After a meet-cute with the smuggler's daughter (a skinny-dipping Claudette Colbert), he uses her to get more info on her unbeknownst-to-her sleazy, murderous pop, falling in love with her along the way. Sort of an early noir with elements of humor and just plain meanness, although Colbert seems a bit too gorgeous to play a fisherman's brat.

The Town Went Wild (1944)
Released the same year -- and in a similar vein -- as Miracle of Morgan's Creek, this frequently hilarious comedy of errors features Edward Everett Horton as a pompous ass who finds out that his golden-boy son (Freddie Bartholomew) is not his own biologically-speaking. What's worse is that the boy is on the verge of marrying the girl-next-door, completely unaware that she's his sister! I'm hoping that there is a better print of this picture; this version has some clumsy, TV-style edits at various points, probably for commercial insertions, and it's kind of blurry.

F. Scott Fitzgerald and 'The Last of the Belles' (1974)
One of the classier TV movies of the 70's, this stars Richard Chamberlain and Blythe Danner as the author and wife Zelda in 1928 as he's trying to write the title short story. The story itself is played out by Susan Sarandon & David Huffman (who looks more like FSF than Chamberlain) in a charming way. The story is set in the waning days of WWI as an earnest young soldier woos a flighty Southern heiress -- or as Zelda points out early on, Scott was always writing about their lives in one way or another. Sarandon looks and acts exactly like Blanche Devereaux's memories of her
girlhood on The Golden Girls; Huffman is lovestruck and perpetually horny to no avail.

The Pied-Piper of Hamelin (1958)
Claude Rains is the main draw here as the villainous mayor of the title mythical village, though Van Johnson is the star in a dual role -- a dull hero and a more flamboyant Piper. Kay Starr is listed as Guest Star, and the sets are very stage-bound, which means that this was probably a made-for-TV musical, probably around Christmas. Most of the musical numbers are weak except for Rains leading his gang of nefarious town councilmen in the witty Prestige, and Starr's gushing solo later in the picture. Colorful costumes and a supporting cast of reliables like Jim Backus as the king and Amzie Strickland as one of the townswomen make this a likeable effort. Also notable: the music is based on various works by Edvard Grieg and the dialogue -- most notably Rains' lines, which he reads with Shakespearean panache -- is in rhyme.

To All My Friends on Shore (1973)
Another sad movie of the week, this time about a lower-class black couple (Bill Cosby and Gloria Foster) trying to make a better life for themselves and their dying son. Directed by Gilbert Cates in similar realistic style as his later classic TV tearjerker Who Will Love My Children? starring Ann Margret. One of two black-centric flicks in the box set.

Hometown Story (1951)
Marilyn Monroe's mug is featured prominently on this box set because of her scant few scenes as the hero's sexy secretary; unfortunately, she delivers her lines with such an arch haughtiness, I half expected Alan Hale, Jr. to smack her instead of trying to woo her. Unfortunately, Hale is not the star; that duty goes to dull Jeffrey Lynn as his buddy, a bitter former state senator out to smear the big business tycoon he blames for his defeat at the polls. Mill Creek points out that this programmer was produced by General Motors as little more than a pro-business tract. We are left to wonder how it is that 42 year-old Lynn has an 8 year-old kid sister with a mom in her early 60's....

His Private Secretary (1933)
Not as terrible as I was led to believe by Lenny Maltin, but not that good either. John Wayne plays a skirt-chasing rich kid whose nasty father insists that he settle down and do some actual work for a change. I say nasty because the old poop has no sense of humor and treats his underlings like trash. Wayne winds up in a small town where his father fires him for not following up on a client's debt, the client being a kindly elderly preacher with a cute blonde daughter with whom Wayne falls in love. Pre-code elements are barely there, beside a few slight pervy remarks by Wayne early on.

The Borrowers (1973)
I remember watching this as a kid when it was first on TV and enjoying it then; I don't now. Surprisingly boring despite cast of Eddie Albert & Tammy Grimes as doll-sized couple living under the floorboards of a Victorian-era house run by a bitchy Beatrice Straight. Pales in comparison to similar little-folk vs big-baddies, The Witches. Special FX are especially lame, even by 70's TV standards, with obvious blue-screen backgrounds because they were apparently too cheap to build cool giant stairwells, tabletops, even matchboxes for beds. Still, I think kids might enjoy the story as there is mini 14 year old daughter and an eight year old normal-sized boy (grand-nephew of the elderly alcoholic lady owner of said house) who become friends.

The New Adventures of Heidi (1978)
....include a lot of terrible songs sung by the cast. Starts out well with Heidi living up in the Swiss Alps -- apparently shot on location -- with her elderly gramps. She romps with her pal Peter and her pet goat in beautiful meadows, but then he falls down into a rushing river and along the way, Gramps (whose sight is failing) becomes so lost that Heidi has to go live in the city with creepy older relatives. It's at this point that the picture literally goes down hill, winding up in late 70's NYC. Really not worth the bother unless you like cheesy musicals.

More of the 80

2009-08-23T12:46:00.000-07:00

Rehearsal For Murder stars Robert Preston two years after his career revival in Victor/Victoria as a playwright searching for his fiancee's killer; she is played by Lynn Redgrave at her prettiest, with dark red hair and perfect skin, in a series of flashbacks. Mystery was written by Levinson & Link, who did all of those great Columbo episodes, and is up to par to the point that the final reveal surprised me and the fact that this flick is PD even moreso.

Dreck like How Awful About Allan I can understand lapsing. This embarrassing waste of Joan Hackett's and Julie Harris' respective talents as unrequited lover and sister respectively of the title character plods along with virtually zero chills, even though it's based on a book by Henry Whatever Happened to Baby-Jane? Farrell. Starring a near-catatonic Anthony Perkins in the lead as a man suffering from hysterical blindness, I frankly wanted to push him down a flight of stairs so Miss Julie could go get a life. Trivia note: the wacky redhead screaming at Perkins in the first reel was Farrell's real-life wife, actress Molly Dodd.

Another "classic" I didn't care for is The Man With The Golden Arm, a relentlessly dreary tale of a junkie horn-player (Frank Sinatra), his dealer (Darren McGavin), and his ladylove, Kim Novak, whose youth and beauty is the flick's sole saving grace. Of all the outrageous (for the time) Preminger pictures available, why did this stinker wind up PD? Oh, wait---

What Constitutes A Classic Anyway?

2009-08-22T17:38:00.000-07:00

So my sis sends me this box set of 80 "Hollywood Classics" she bought at Big Lots for $10 and has given me the assignment of mining the set for any gold nuggets therein. Of course, being a public domain junkie, I go for this big time. At least 1/3 of these flicks, especially the pre-60's H-wood pictures, are available to watch online via various venues, such as Archive.org. The box was the brainchild of Mill Creek Entertainment, but has since been discontinued along with (alas) a set which I believe contained 250 PD films. Mill Creek's many box sets range from 4 to 50 features per re the movie collections. They also carry a line of PD television shows -- Beverly Hillbillies, Jack Benny, Bonanza, One Step Beyond, and The Lucy Show are ones I've bought from WalMart the last couple of years.

The term "classic" is one bandied about by the company, but not necessarily in a bad way. Half of the movies in this collection are made-for-television from the 70's - early 80's, and many of them are pretty good, starring respectable folks like Sissy Spacek, Ed Asner, Martin Sheen, Sally Field, and the like. Most of the stories revolve around social issues of the day like health and hippies, divorce and domestic terrorism, et al.

This blog will try to review all eighty films to see if they live up to the box-set's title.

First one I watched was Divorce His/Divorce Hers, a two-part 1973 mini-series starring Richard Burton & Elizabeth Taylor as an upper-class couple whose marriage is on the rocks. It is a rather turgid little number which lays down the unbelievable thesis that Dick would leave Liz for the Crypt Keeper in drag (albeit designer red chiffon drag) in the form of grisly Carrie Nye. Liz was just beginning her descent into tubbiness here, but she's still a beauty worth killing for, despite this film's glossy dullness.

Next picture was Deadly Drifter (nee Out), an absolutely unwatchable "art" film from 1983 starring Peter Coyote and O-Lan Jones (then Mrs Sam Shepard); according to my research, Coyote filmed this in a couple of days between ET and Cross Creek as a favor to a friend. A gang of existentialist terrorists get their orders from unscrambled letters in a bowl of soup, then proceed to cross the USA doing their dumb deeds. Flick is not-rated but I would give it an R for some explicit language.

Good Against Evil is the second flick on the same disk as Deadly Drifter; it's a failed pilot for a TV show from 1978 that starts out somewhat promisingly then veers off into a lame Exorcist rip-off, complete with a priest and a possessed little girl. Her mom is played by a young Kim Cattrall, former flame of the flick's hero, Dack Rambo. I can see why this crapola did not gain an audience.

The Brass Ring and Catholics, 1983 and 1973 respectively, are on one side of a disk. They have nothing in common: one is a crazy-mom-on-the-run flick directed by Bob Balaban and starring Dina Merrill; the other is semi-documentary style story of a group of renegade priests on a remote Irish island who get a visit from Martin Sheen as a Vatican envoy intent on making them stop saying mass in Latin. Neither story thrilled me, but some might go for the priest story because it has some sci-fi elements later in the script.

From the golden days of Hollyweird, one of the few true classics in this set is Meet John Doe, erroneously listed on the package as 62 minutes long. It is the full version folks, and well worth the watch. Directed by Frank Capra in 1941, it's the tale of a common man (Gary Cooper) who gets caught up in the political machinations of a ruthless publisher (Edward Arnold) and falls in love with Barbara Stanwyck's ace (and not so clean) reporter along the way.

Two of three entries (the other is a 1933 Claudette Colbert I'll get to eventually) on one disk, about 65 minutes each, are worth a view. The oddly-titled High Voltage of 1929 stars a wise-cracking Carole Lombard at the start of her talking-picture career (she had made a dozen silents beforehand) as a bad girl who gets snowbound in an abandoned church with five assorted morons, one of whom she falls in love with, future Hopalong Cassidy William Boyd in a tres wooden performance. Screenplay was co-written by actor/playwright James Gleason, who was Stanwyck's editor in Meet John Doe. The second feature is better, Hoosier Schoolboy, starring Mickey Rooney in a rare subdued performance as the title punk. Anna Nagel plays his kindhearted teacher in this tale of a mean ol' rich man trying to knock down the working man in the form of striking dairy farmers, with an intervention by his soon-to-be pinko son. Good writing and acting make this worth watching. Plot was based on stories of Indiana writer Edward Eggleston.