Nine-Movie Marathon (From Best to Worst)

I Cover The Waterfront (1933)
Interesting pre-Code story about a newspaperman (Ben Lyon) with the title column who seeks to uncover the deeds of a smuggler and swindler of Chinese nationals vying for a new life in America. After a meet-cute with the smuggler's daughter (a skinny-dipping Claudette Colbert), he uses her to get more info on her unbeknownst-to-her sleazy, murderous pop, falling in love with her along the way. Sort of an early noir with elements of humor and just plain meanness, although Colbert seems a bit too gorgeous to play a fisherman's brat.

The Town Went Wild (1944)
Released the same year -- and in a similar vein -- as Miracle of Morgan's Creek, this frequently hilarious comedy of errors features Edward Everett Horton as a pompous ass who finds out that his golden-boy son (Freddie Bartholomew) is not his own biologically-speaking. What's worse is that the boy is on the verge of marrying the girl-next-door, completely unaware that she's his sister! I'm hoping that there is a better print of this picture; this version has some clumsy, TV-style edits at various points, probably for commercial insertions, and it's kind of blurry.

F. Scott Fitzgerald and 'The Last of the Belles' (1974)
One of the classier TV movies of the 70's, this stars Richard Chamberlain and Blythe Danner as the author and wife Zelda in 1928 as he's trying to write the title short story. The story itself is played out by Susan Sarandon & David Huffman (who looks more like FSF than Chamberlain) in a charming way. The story is set in the waning days of WWI as an earnest young soldier woos a flighty Southern heiress -- or as Zelda points out early on, Scott was always writing about their lives in one way or another. Sarandon looks and acts exactly like Blanche Devereaux's memories of her
girlhood on The Golden Girls; Huffman is lovestruck and perpetually horny to no avail.

The Pied-Piper of Hamelin (1958)
Claude Rains is the main draw here as the villainous mayor of the title mythical village, though Van Johnson is the star in a dual role -- a dull hero and a more flamboyant Piper. Kay Starr is listed as Guest Star, and the sets are very stage-bound, which means that this was probably a made-for-TV musical, probably around Christmas. Most of the musical numbers are weak except for Rains leading his gang of nefarious town councilmen in the witty Prestige, and Starr's gushing solo later in the picture. Colorful costumes and a supporting cast of reliables like Jim Backus as the king and Amzie Strickland as one of the townswomen make this a likeable effort. Also notable: the music is based on various works by Edvard Grieg and the dialogue -- most notably Rains' lines, which he reads with Shakespearean panache -- is in rhyme.

To All My Friends on Shore (1973)
Another sad movie of the week, this time about a lower-class black couple (Bill Cosby and Gloria Foster) trying to make a better life for themselves and their dying son. Directed by Gilbert Cates in similar realistic style as his later classic TV tearjerker Who Will Love My Children? starring Ann Margret. One of two black-centric flicks in the box set.

Hometown Story (1951)
Marilyn Monroe's mug is featured prominently on this box set because of her scant few scenes as the hero's sexy secretary; unfortunately, she delivers her lines with such an arch haughtiness, I half expected Alan Hale, Jr. to smack her instead of trying to woo her. Unfortunately, Hale is not the star; that duty goes to dull Jeffrey Lynn as his buddy, a bitter former state senator out to smear the big business tycoon he blames for his defeat at the polls. Mill Creek points out that this programmer was produced by General Motors as little more than a pro-business tract. We are left to wonder how it is that 42 year-old Lynn has an 8 year-old kid sister with a mom in her early 60's....

His Private Secretary (1933)
Not as terrible as I was led to believe by Lenny Maltin, but not that good either. John Wayne plays a skirt-chasing rich kid whose nasty father insists that he settle down and do some actual work for a change. I say nasty because the old poop has no sense of humor and treats his underlings like trash. Wayne winds up in a small town where his father fires him for not following up on a client's debt, the client being a kindly elderly preacher with a cute blonde daughter with whom Wayne falls in love. Pre-code elements are barely there, beside a few slight pervy remarks by Wayne early on.

The Borrowers (1973)
I remember watching this as a kid when it was first on TV and enjoying it then; I don't now. Surprisingly boring despite cast of Eddie Albert & Tammy Grimes as doll-sized couple living under the floorboards of a Victorian-era house run by a bitchy Beatrice Straight. Pales in comparison to similar little-folk vs big-baddies, The Witches. Special FX are especially lame, even by 70's TV standards, with obvious blue-screen backgrounds because they were apparently too cheap to build cool giant stairwells, tabletops, even matchboxes for beds. Still, I think kids might enjoy the story as there is mini 14 year old daughter and an eight year old normal-sized boy (grand-nephew of the elderly alcoholic lady owner of said house) who become friends.

The New Adventures of Heidi (1978)
....include a lot of terrible songs sung by the cast. Starts out well with Heidi living up in the Swiss Alps -- apparently shot on location -- with her elderly gramps. She romps with her pal Peter and her pet goat in beautiful meadows, but then he falls down into a rushing river and along the way, Gramps (whose sight is failing) becomes so lost that Heidi has to go live in the city with creepy older relatives. It's at this point that the picture literally goes down hill, winding up in late 70's NYC. Really not worth the bother unless you like cheesy musicals.